When I was a teenager, every time I got a performance video I would sit and watch it over and over again, looking for little mistakes and technical corrections. Nine times out of ten, after viewing the tape I would spend the next two hours berating myself.
You would think that would change after becoming a professional ballet teacher and choreographer. As it turns out, NO.
Nowadays, I can watch my own performance videos and not weep, down a glass of wine, and then weep some more. In fact, the last time I watched footage of my own dancing, I felt-- dare I say it-- happy. When it comes to watching footage of my choreography... well, that's another story entirely. *
I'm watching such a DVD at the moment. And the sick thing is that while part of me wants to leave town and change my name....another part of me wants to show this footage to another dance professional to get their feedback and see if A) I'm just being overly self-critical, and B) so I can improve as a choreographer.
Either way: I think I'll stop blogging for now, watch the rest of the footage, and see if maybe my morale doesn't improve. What are your throughts, Upstage Lefters?
* I want to make it clear that I'm bemoaning my own choreographic mojo and NOT the dancers' performances. Dancers, you were great.