Dancers: Laughing in the Face of Blisters.

Conversation that took place a few minutes ago, while taking a walk with a friend:

Me: Huh, my new shoes are starting to give me a blister on one foot.
Friend: I have socks on. Ya want 'em?
Me: Nah.
Friend: There's a bench over there. We can totally switch. Not a problem.
Me: Naw, that's okay.
Friend: You sure?
Me: Yup.
Friend: I just don't want your feet to get all jacked up.
Me: Um...
Me: ...Did I ever show you that one picture of my feet from last seaso--
Friend: OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
Friend: Nevermind. I get it now. You're cool.
Me: Yeah. One blister is nothing.

An achy barre-side conversation at 8:30 a.m.

Dancers are frequently told: "Listen To Your Body."

We aren't told that if you "listen to your body" when you're sore & warming up for a nine a.m. rehearsal, you will hear a lot of whining. Take a look:

(During plies)
KNEE: Snap.
HIP: Pop. POP. Wow, that felt good.
(Forward cambre)
HAMSTRINGS: No.
SPINE: Hey, can we skip the cambre back for now, and stay down for here a second? It feels good. I'm not ready to bend the other way yet.
HAMSTRINGS: No!!
BRAIN: Sure.
HAMSTRINGS: I hate you all.

(during a series of quick eleves)
ARCHES: Dead pointe shoe alert! Dead pointe shoe alert!
CALVES: Um, wow, hey. Dude. We are SO not ready for that yet.
BRAIN: Oh. Sorry.
(calf stretch)
CALVES. Thanks!
ARCHES: Yo, can we do something about this dead- shoe situation here?
BRAIN: They aren't THAT dead. They've got, like, an entire class left in them. You can at least make it to the end of barre work, Captain Fussypants.

(later)
ENTIRE LOWER HALF: Why. The hell. Did you think it would be smart. TO RUN THREE MILES yesterday.
BRAIN: Sorry.
ENTIRE LOWER HALF: I dunno if you've noticed, but we are not runners. WE HURT.
BRAIN: I said I'm sorry! And admit it, we really needed that run.
TOES: Cramp!
TOES: Cramp some more!
ARCHES: Hey, Toes are cramping up big-time, maybe we --
BRAIN: Yes I KNOW.
ARCHES: I'm just saying... you know... maybe we should ditch the pointe shoes.
BRAIN: Maybe you should suck it up.
ARCHES:
BRAIN: ZING.

(Barre stretch)
HIP: Pop!
HAMSTRINGS: Holy damn, woman, WHAT PART OF "NO" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
BRAIN: You know, you will feel a million times better IF YOU JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME STRETCH YOU.
HAMSTRINGS: But I'm so sorrrrrrrre.
EVERYONE ELSE: So are we!
BRAIN: You buggers are whiny today.

Restless Leg Syndrome

Dear Legs,

You seriously need to chill out. You’ve had your fun for the day—we danced for a grand total of seven hours, plus you got to go for a run on the treadmill. The rest of us here are tired, and you and your buddies Feet are keeping us awake because you refuse to settle down.

Allow me to remind you two that you’ve had more than your share of activity in the last few weeks—more than anybody else, in fact. I’m sure Hands wanted to do more writing today; but they quietly gave it up so that you guys could carry us through an extra rehearsal. You don’t see THEM shaking and twirling around with Wrists and making Fingers twitch all over the place.

I don’t even want to finish this letter, because I’m tired—no, I’m exhausted; we all are. We’re done dancing for the day. We kindly ask that you follow suit so we can all get some damn sleep.

And if you don’t, I’m sending Hands down there with a tire iron. You might want to warn Shins.

Sincerely,

Brain

Getting back on track

Conversation with my body at 7 o'clock this morning:
Me: (getting out of bed)
Body: WTF? No.
Me: Come on now. We have to get up. Remember our deal?
Body: NO.
Me: Now, now. The deal was, we got to rest yesterday, but today we have two rehearsals and a Baby Ballet class to teach. Time's a-wastin'.
Body: NO NO NO.
Me: Come on, we have to put our pointe shoes on.
Body: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO- (continues protesting)
Me: (ignoring complaints, makes coffee)
Body: NO NO NO NO NO NO--
Me: (takes medicine, drinks coffee, smokes cigarette)
Body: ....
Body: (sigh)
Me: Are you done resisting me now?
Body: FINE. You win.
Me. Good. Let's go.

Apparently my body is still tired and not happy about rebounding. The first, maybe, half hour of rehearsal went well, after that it went steadily downhill. I found myself thankful that today's rehearsal was short, because after an hour my legs didn't want to cooperate with me. The choreography was not difficult, but since I wasn't firing all cylinders it felt like I trying to dance while underwater...during an earthquake. NOT my best moment.

I don't like dancing when my body is compromised, because I tend to feel more inadequate than the Chess Club kid who got tossed onto the football field. I came home after rehearsal, sat down on the couch, and thought to myself "Wow, I'm a really crappy dancer." Whether or not that's true is the subject of much debate, but I digress-- after a rehearsal like today's, there doesn't seem to be an argument against it.

I'm about to go teach my one-and-only baby class of the week before Rehearsal Round Deux, which will hopefully be far less embarassing. Wish me luck.