Everybody Hurts

Last night, I watched the movie Center Stage --the cult film of bunheads everywhere-- for the first time in a couple of years.

I watched that movie about a thousand times in high school; always joking about how cheesy and ham-fisted it was. But when I watched it last night, I found myself identifying with the antagonist Maureen (Susan May Pratt). She was the top ballet student, the girl who got all the good parts, the weapons-grade bitch-machine... who was secretly miserable. She had everything but then burned out and quit, which makes you hate her even more.

Watching the movie last night, I realized that I have a lot in common with that girl. Much more than I ever would have imagined. So much that it literally brought me to tears. I found myself relating to this massively-unlikeable character: I had a wonderful performing career, got great roles, taught and choreographed everywhere... but eventually, the very thing that brought me happiness made me really unhappy. B-movie or not, that film hit me where I live.

Which bothers me a bit. Dancing used to fill me with unsuppressed joy, and I'm really sad that that's no longer the case. I miss it. I really do. But how do you get something like that back?

*****

I have nothing to say beyond that. Here's your moment of Zen:

"All you need is ignorance and confidence, and the success is sure."
~ Mark Twain