Remember When

Life after dance involves a lot of remember-whens. Remember when I was a dancer? Remember when I actually had a job, dancing for a living?

Remember when we did that film project where we danced in a live waterfall in Shawnee-on-Delaware?
Remember when I had my own dance ensemble?
Remember when a bunch of people from the dance studio came to see me dance the the titular role in 'Amahl'?
Remember when I got to dance Jose Limon's 'There Is A Time'?
Remember that night I danced at the Miller Outdoor theater and had the most wonderful night of my life?

Remember when I danced with [Multi-media Dance Company] and we did a whole show based on David Bowie's Concept album?
Remember when I had my ensemble, and we traveled to Pennsylvania to perform?
Remember when I got to do that "mattress dance" solo at the Hobby Center?

Dance has given me so many remember-whens. I will treasure them all forever.

The New Normal

I performed in Letters You Wrote in March and I haven't performed since. I've been on a self-prescribed temporary sabbatical from dance.

My life post-dance has been rather idyllic; having gone from being That Dancer Girl to being your average Gulf-Coast homemaker. I live with my boyfriend and our two kittens on a private lake near Galveston: I spend my days enjoying nature and keep in shape by swimming and hiking and dancing around the apartment like a crazy fool when no one else is there. I still teach two dance classes a week, and I'm forever making dances in my head.

I'm mindful about staying in shape and maintaining my strength, flexibility, and technique, because I want to go back to dancing when I'm ready. There's an audition coming up for a Houston company that I have danced with in the past and whose work I really love. I would like to go.

When I was younger, I pushed myself really hard so that I could begin my dance career as early as possible and do as much work as possible. I guess I succeeded-- I had a steady six-year dance career starting before I even graduated high school. The thing is, I think I might have pushed myself a little too hard (let's just say that I can check "eating disorder" and "crippling burnout" off of my bucket list). I needed this break to heal my sanity so that I can return to dancing as a stronger, more focused dancer.

You can take the girl out of dance, but you will never take the dancer out of the girl.

Swan Song

Hello, dear readers:

I'm sure you've noticed that, over the last six months, I have updated Notes From Upstage Left less and less...to the point where I stopped posting altogether. There is a reason for this.

I am no longer dancing.

...for the time being, anyway. I know myself well enough to know that I won't be able to stay away from dancing for long. I want to continue to teach/choreograph/review performances, but I need to stay off of the stage for a little while.

Upstage Lefters: I want to thank you for being a part of my dance journey; for following me through two and a half years of dance and art and love and laughter. It's been a great ride, and I'm so glad you got to experience it with me. Hopefully, this is not THE END-The End; and that one day I'll go back to dancing and blogging about my backstage adventures. That is my hope, anyway.

In the meantime: You stay classy, internet.

Thoughts From Studio Rehearsals

Some assorted observations from our final rehearsals earlier this week:

* Did you ever have that teacher in junior high (it's usually a biology teacher, for some reason) who was kind of the "cool" teacher, who made the class laugh and pretty much all the kids got along with? Yeah, I think I've become that teacher. Only with ballet instead of public education.

* My dancers-- especially the ones who have been studying with me for a few years-- have learned to read my body language during rehearsals (then again: I make it really easy): If they see my grinning like an idiot, they know that things are A-OK. If I start crunching my fingers in my hair...they know that they're going to be getting some major Notes afterward.

* I got to see some students whom I haven't seen since last year...and my God, have they grown up. One of the men used be tinier than me; now I come up to his shoulders. Who used to be the "younger girls" are now teenagers. My former "beginners" are now doing double pirouettes. It's so cool to watch all the dance kids grow up year after year.

* At rehearsal yesterday, we were playing the music for the opening number (an edited-down version of "Replay" by Iyaz, if you're interested), and the studio owner came up with the idea that the teachers should pop out onstage, briefly, during part of the song. The other teachers and I decided that this HAD to be done. Oh, it is going to be so fun.

* Speaking of that...I work with some seriously magical people. I love them all.

* At one point, I poked my head into the small studio...and found my some of my older girls practicing their pointe piece together. Yay, motivated kids!

* I got to spend some time around the kids from the "baby classes," and they are all so headsplodingly delightful. I kind of miss working with the little-little ones; I'd forgotten how much fun they can be.

* If I may say something of my fellow teachers at this school: They know how to freakin' CHOREOGRAPH. And choreograph and choreograph. Every year I'm blown away by their dances.

* This whole process has been really fun and awesome.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

Well, folks, it's that time of year again: recital time! My students are performing their spring show in three days, and it's looking all kinds of wonderful. We have two casts this year; Cast #1 had their final run-through on Monday, Cast #2 had theirs yesterday. At the end of rehearsal yesterday, I said to our studio owner "I can't believe that the next time I see these kids, it will be the big show. Didn't the school year just start, like, last week?"

The rehearsals went as swimmingly as swimmingly can be. The show is so tightly rehearsed that it just flies by; the dances looked great and spirits were high all around. It was nice to see the other dances-- and for me, it was nice to have other people see *my* dances for the first time (one of the moms who never got a chance to see her daughter's dance came up to me and told me how much she liked it and that it's "really pretty." Sweet). My Corelli Concerto-- as in, the one that I angsted over to no end/thought would never get finished/never look the way I wanted it to-- looks beautiful, and I got a lot of compliments on it. My littlest girls (beginner jazz, ages 6-8) just about stole the scene on Monday...they're dancing to "Say Hey" by Michael Franti, and their dance is almost cute enough to make your head explode into candy. Everyone just loves it!

What makes me happiest is seeing how much my students have grown. And grown and grown and grown and then grown some more. I've seen my oldest girls become more and more dedicated to ballet and to dance in general; some of them with big achievements such as performing in HB's Nutcracker or getting into summer intensives. I've also seen ALL of my students-- from the youngest to the oldest-- learn so much and improve by leaps and bounds over the year, and I'm crazy proud of them. I don't know if I've ever stated this explicitly, so I'll say it now: I have the most rewarding job and the best students in the world. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Also: Recital time means Mama-Butterfly-comes-to-visit-me time! The last time she visited was Alice in Wonderland last year; since then I've moved (again) (I know) (shut up), acquired a new boyfriend and a new kitten, and grew out my atrocious Hockey Hair. We are both so excited to see each other we're practically bouncing up and down. My mom still comes to see my dance recitals, even though I'm all grown up and teaching now. Sweet.

Dear students and faculty at my place of employment: MERDE! Have a wonderful show. :)

R.I.P., Golden Girl

Actress Rue McClanahan passed away this morning after suffering a stroke. Most people knew her as Blanche from The Golden Girls, but what a lot of people don't know is that before she started acting professionally , Rue McClanahan was trained in dance her whole life (On a "Lifetime Portrait" TV program, Ms. McClanahan stated that she did "toe and tap" and showed pictures of her dancing en pointe). Her dance training showed up in her acting-- McClanahan had an excellent sense of physical comedy and body language on-screen. She also brought her dancing abilities onto 'The Golden Girls,' performing tap dances or ballroom dances in several episodes.

A full article about McClanahan's passing on People Weekly's website can be found here.

Rest in Peace, Blanche Devereaux. Have a spiffy eternity.

Watching Dance: HB's Emily Bowen tells us about 'Pecos'

On May 27th-- tomorrow-- Houston Ballet will open Pecos, a triple-bill involving Mark Morris' Sandpaper Ballet, Stanton Welch's Pecos Bill, and George Balanchine's Ballo della Regina (which was staged by Merrill Ashley). I popped over to Houston Ballet's studios and had a chat with Emily Bowen, a lovely dancer who will perform in all three ballets.

Notes From Upstage Left: Emily, I see that you're from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania-- near my own hometown. Where did you train?
EB: Cumberland Dance Company It's a pretty small school, but we had a teacher from Central Pennsylvania Youth Ballet who came in and taught for us.

NFUL: What role are you dancing in Ballo della Regina?
EB: I do one of the five solos, and I'm in the corps as well.

NFUL: Wonderful. Are you dancing any of Suzanne Farrell's old roles, by chance?
EB: I'm not sure. Merrill Ashley set the ballet on us; she didn't really specify whose roles we were doing. All we know is that the ballet was created for her.

NFUL: Just curious. Have you ever danced any of Mark Morris' choreography before?
EB: No. He set Sandpaper Ballet on the company two years ago, when I was in the school. I didn't performed it, but was lucky enough to be involved in some of the rehearsals with Mr. Morris...which was quite an experience.

NFUL: What was it like working with his choreography for the first time?
EB: Not what you'd expect. Sandpaper is not what you would expect as a "classical" ballet. It is so witty and clever!! Mr. Morris has such an amazing ear for musicality. As a dancer it is so refreshing to dance such a musical ballet.

NFUL: I see you also trained with Houston Ballet Academy. I know HBA trains mostly in the Cecchetti and RAD methods, and George Balanchine's "American" method is quite different. What was it like adapting to that style of movement?
EB:Adapting to the "American" method was particularly difficult for me. I felt as though my body always wanted to do what felt natural, but, to execute to the lightning fast steps, you have to use a completely different set of muscles. When we take class from Balanchine teachers, they put emphasis on the hands and position of the arms. Which is something I've been able to work into my own personal style of dancing.

NFUL: Are you performing all of the shows?
EB: I am! I'm on Ballo every night-- I do the solo opening night and the second night, and I'm in the corps for the rest of the shows.

NFUL: Wonderful. Can you tell me a bit about Pecos Bill?
EB: In Pecos, there aren't any overly difficult steps technically. What makes this ballet difficult is all of the acting. Each individual character has such personality that it's almost like being involved in a musical. It is a very "all consuming" ballet. Every part of you have to be committed and involved. It's a short ballet' very festive and light-hearted compared to the other two pieces.

NFUL: Now, I might be wrong here....but isn't Pecos the first ballet that Mr. Welch when he came to Houston Ballet and became Artistic Director? Is that correct?
EB: It was his first full ballet when he came here. He had created other dances in the past.

NFUL: How do you feel about a choreographer from a different country comes in and makes a whole ballet about the state that you live in?
EB: It's really interesting. Stanton's from Australia, and this is a Texas ballet and a Texas story, and he did such a great job of bringing us into the story and bringing us to our characters. He could tell each person specifically who their character is, how they would be during that time period, how they would interact with other people. NFUL: So a non-Texan guy creates the perfect Texas story for the stage.
EB: Yes! It's a really fun program.
NFUL: It sounds it. I'm looking forward to seeing it in action.