Swan Song

Hello, dear readers:

I'm sure you've noticed that, over the last six months, I have updated Notes From Upstage Left less and less...to the point where I stopped posting altogether. There is a reason for this.

I am no longer dancing.

...for the time being, anyway. I know myself well enough to know that I won't be able to stay away from dancing for long. I want to continue to teach/choreograph/review performances, but I need to stay off of the stage for a little while.

Upstage Lefters: I want to thank you for being a part of my dance journey; for following me through two and a half years of dance and art and love and laughter. It's been a great ride, and I'm so glad you got to experience it with me. Hopefully, this is not THE END-The End; and that one day I'll go back to dancing and blogging about my backstage adventures. That is my hope, anyway.

In the meantime: You stay classy, internet.

The End of the Beginning.

Amahl and the Night Visitors opens tomorrow. In twenty-four hours, to be exact.

Lying in bed this morning, I realized that I've spent the past few days feeling the same way I did in the days leading up to Best in Ten-- a mix of excitement and anxiety; anticipation with a touch of nail-biting nerves. Sure, I've done this ballet before; sure, I love this role; sure, healing from injury has helped tremendously-- but at the same time, this is my last performance with this dance company and I want to go out on the highest note imagineable. It's the titular role, the central protagonist-- it was also the first role I performed with [Awesome People] Dance Company, and now it will be the last.

You can see why I really want this to go well.




We had our final in-studio rehearsal today. I realized, upon signing in at the theater, that I am going to kind of miss that place (I'm sure I'll be back to see shows there, though). Rehearsal itself felt good-- both yesterday's run and today's felt strong and were, well, just plain old fun. I felt myself dissolving into Amahl, full of energy and spirit and imagination. R plays Kaspar the Deaf King-- the same role he did last time around-- and he and I have really developed a strong rapport between our characters (probably doesn't hurt that he and I are buddies in real life). I love watching Melchoir, he's so beautiful and engaging as a dancer. E and Frank are so so super cute as the Shepherd Duet-- they have a wonderful connection to each other, and their combined abilities really light up the hell out the stage.



In a few hours I leave for The Theater for dress rehearsal. We perform four shows, starting tomorrow; AT and I will perform two of them (but we'll be in the theater for all four, of course. You know, just in case/God forbid). We're performing Saturday matinee and Sunday evening-- the first and the last.


Here goes.

"Have you seen a Child the color of earth, the color of dawn?"

The Final Countdown

Sorry you haven't heard from me in a while, folks. I've been busy/out with a COSTAL INJURY WTF/stressed/busy some more. Man, this whole "busy" thing is really cutting into my blogging time.

Anyway, here's a quick recap of what's been going on during the hiatus: Snow melts, rehearse for Amahl and the Night Visitors, Christmas parties, rehearsals, injury, whine incessantly about injury, and the final week of Amahl rehearsals.

We open in two days.

Yesterday, some of the board members came in to watch our rehearsal; they were very sweet and said wonderful things about the show. Afterwards, they had lunch with the company and got to know the dancers. It was all very pleasant. Today-- since Amahl incorporates a lot of American Sign Language into the choreography-- we had a gentleman come in to look at our signing and make sure we were doing the signs correctly. He was very receptive, and it was really nice to work with him and get his feedback (we learned a bit more about ASL in the process, too).

So here we are: the final countdown. In 48 hours, I will already be onstage. On Sunday night, I will dance my final performance of Amahl-- my final performance with the company. After that, I leave for Pennsylvania and won't be back until 2010.

Things will be different when I get back, but I'm looking forward to what's coming up. The spring season is going to be a whole new ball game-- dancing and performing Letters You Wrote, creating several new works (including Everywhere I Go and Corelli Concerto, which, by the way-- WHEE), performing in another new show this spring-- it's gonna be great.

But that's all in the future. For now: It's Christmastime in Houston, and I've got a date with a crutch and a stage.

Lady's A Charm, Part 2

Apologies for my slightly-hysterical post yesterday. I was probably a bit hasty. I should clarify a few things.

For a while now, I've been contemplating the direction and future of my dance career. Where to go, what to do, how long to continue, et cetera. Recently, though, my internal dialogue has become an internal shouting match; it was starting to drive me a wee bit crazy.

A few weeks ago I put in a phone call to Maria at PADV; we discussed the options. This morning, I had a sit-down on the phone with a fellow blogger and was offered lots of insight. I heard some of the same advice from both; and both told me the same basic idea: "You know what you need to do."

Thanks, you guys. I think I do know what I need to do. And it ain't gonna be easy and it ain't gonna be fun-- I know that tears will be shed in the process (my own/plenty of them)-- but I think that in the end, I will have done the right thing.

I think I know what I need to do.

And now, here's your Moment of Zen:
"Please. I may be distressed, but I know how to keep my mouth shut."
"Unless there's a big tuna sandwich around!"
~ Joseph Gannascoli and Joe Patoliano (as Vita Spatafore and Ralph Cifaretto, respectively), The Sopranos

Lady's A Charm, Part 1

So! We finished learning Amahl on Friday; I start my new job on Thursday. I'm excited about both.

I don't want to say too much just yet...but I have a feeling that there will be some changes around here in the next few months. It's too soon to tell, but if my 8am e-mail to a friend stating "CAREER COUNSELING NEEDED MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY HALP" is any indication, then...well, yeah. A few things may need to change. But that's only a "may," so nothing is definite yet. Honestly, I have no clue what's going to happen next. It's actually pretty frustrating.

Happpy NaBloPoMo, everyone. I'm off to pull my twelve-hour dance day. You stay classy, internet.