Notes from our performances: Student matinées

I scribbled some stuff down during our final two performances yesterday so that I could give you lovely folks an inside look at how a performance happens. Enjoy!

1. I didn't dance anything in pointe shoes for this production, but I got to wear bonnets. It evens out.

2. Sabbath Day is the most fun ballet ever. EVER. The end.

3. As a result of Jimmy's absence, I am dancing in the sections of Sabbath Day that I was removed from due to my injury. I had the best time dancing those sections,.... yet I felt a bit guilty enjoying myself so much because of the circumstances that put me back in those ballets.

4. The corps' exit from the third movement of Sabbath Day is a series of turning jumps and leaps.... which is fun in and of itself, but even more so in a long and twirly skirt.

5. During the "shadowplay" scene in which R shoots me,* he looks amazingly creepy. After he blows me away, he exits doing a stoic and stiff-legged movement (while putting away the "gun"), and since he's wearing a top hat and his fancy-looking slave-master outfit it looks like something out of a music video by The Used. From my close-up recently-shot perspective, IT LOOKS AWESOME.

6. As I've said before, the Douglass piece began last year with the "Slave Machine" quartet. I
just want to tell you that it is WAY more fun to dance in a fancy hoop dress and a frilly bonnet.

7. Call me a hack if you will, but if there's one thing I love more than dancing it's dancing while wearing a pretty outfit. I'll plead guilty on all counts of Vain, but it's how I roll.

8. Did I really ust say "It's how I roll?" *facepalm*

9. During our second show on Tuesday, we were nearing the end of "Slave Machine" and I thought "This might be the last time I dance this, and that makes me sad." I had a great time dancing it.

10. Again: Jimmy's absence from our fold caused us to do quite a bit of re-arranging in terms of casting. For Tuesday's performances, I got to do the "Silver Trumpet of Freedom" (another shadow sequence), which I enjoyed.

11. It's worth mentioning that our director originally did that section; and to me, getting to dance one of her parts is pretty darn cool (even if it is , like, only thirty seconds long).

12. I always forget that we're supposed to be barefoot for Freedom, so I end up having to yank off my ballet shoes about eight counts before my entrance.

13. It is entirely impossible not to smile during Freedom. It's so uplifting.

14. Originally, I had an exit where Jimmy and R lifted me over their heads and carried me offtstage. It always caused me to want to say "Whee!" With Jimmy gone, we re-worked it so that R picked me up in a double attitude and swirled me offstage...and I honestly have to say that it's even more fun than our original lift. It's like being on a roller coaster, but on a stage and in a dance costume. During the final performance yesterday, I found myself whispering "wheeeeeeeeeee" as he carried me offstage.

15. With both incarnations of that lift-exit, I always wanted to close my eyes for fear of having a painful encounter with either the wing or the lighting boom. It was a little scarier with the new lift, because I was being spun around really, really fast...but then I realized "Dude, I've been dancing with this guy for over a year and he has NEVER hurt me, dropped me, or slammed me into an immoveable object." And then I felt really lucky for being able to dance with such a good partner. Props, dude.

16. When we lined up to make our final Freedom enterance during our last three performances, every single time I'd forget what had happened and think to myself "There aren't enough people in our line. Where's Jimmy?" And each time, it saddened me in a big way.

17. It was a really great show and I'm bummed that it's over. I hope we get to dance these ballets again, because it was such a great experience. Allow me to send some major love to the [Awesome People] Dance Company: It was a tremendous pleasure, and I love you all.

P.S. Tomorrow is Bill Hicks Day, so stay tuned for a big-time tribute. Check out Hicks' work in the meantime, especially if you haven't heard of him before. Big-time props to Mr. Sozeberg for introducing me to Hicks last fall.

*Let me clarify that during that scene I'm portraying a slave and not the slave mistress. The scene portrays how a slave master could shoot an errant slave in cold blood-- in front of the other slaves!-- and none of the slaves who witnessed the murder could report or testify the murder. Awful. Makes me hate America, a little bit.

Fallout

The theater is dark on this Monday morning, but our company assembles in a small rehearsal studio to quickly re-work ballets to cover for Jimmy's absence. We sit on the floor and talk solemnly; except for the dancer who is trying to learn all of Jimmy's solo roles and is understandably freaking out. We discuss if anyone has heard from Jimmy, we wonder about his condition, we continue try and piece together what happened. We may never be certain about the series of events; speculations continue to fly back and forth.

We try and steer our pre-rehearsal conversation to happier topics; we discuss people who have come to see the show (DanceAdvantage came to see us, as well as a lovely reader of this website named Natalie), our director tells us about the adorable children from her church who came to the show and drew her pictures of the performance. I tell E that I enjoyed meeting her husband and that I "approve" of him. We finish sipping our coffees and rehearsal begins; Nicky learns Jimmy's solo from Freedom, spacing is re-worked in many places.
We go into Douglass and begin to fill in the blanks left by Jim. We muse over Little Freddy, who grew by leaps and bounds as a young artist this past weekend (audience members commented on a noticeable difference in his dancing between Friday's show and Sunday's), particularly in the way he covered for his absent scene partner like an absolute pro (did I mention this is a twelve-year-old I'm talking about? Mm-hmm. Yes. TWELVE. That boy has a damn good future ahead of him).
I mumble that only thing breaking my heart as much as Jimmy is our director: a genuinely great woman who is now in the unenviable position of trying to cover for a principal dancer who, essentially, carried a major ballet on his shoulders (In a big company like, say, NYCB, this is no sweat. However, we are a small company, and everyone hugely feels the impact of one missing person). It is a situation slightly less desirable than scrubbing a public restroom with your teeth; thus there are as many prayers for her flying around as there are for Jim.

It's been a head trip, these last 24 hours. As much as we can now say that we as a company can get through ANYTHING now as a result of this, it's hardly a time to be triumphant about possessing the power to Deal With Crazy Stuff As A Group. We love you, Jimmy; and we're praying for your healing. Get better soon, man.

EDIT: I still haven't given you a recap of Happier Times in the [Awesome People] Dance Company (a.k.a. Friday and Saturday's performances). So instead, here's a picture of us looking cute and joyful in our Shaker costumes:

Loss, Betrayal, and Longed-For Saving Grace: A Sad Day in Upstage Left

During Friday and Saturday's performances I scribbled down all sorts of amusing things to regale you with in my little pink Hello-Kitty notebook....but you're going to have to wait. I just got off the phone with a fellow dancer, after a good 15 minutes of morosely going over the events of the day.

About five minutes before we took the stage for our Sunday matinee, we learned something very sad about one of our own dancers, someone who was new to our company. When he didn't show up at call time, we assumed it was a family emergency of some kind. At curtain time-- when we circled up to do our pre-show prayer, in fact-- the stage manager came to the door and told our director that someone wanted to speak with her. We were already in place to go on for Sabbath Day when someone (I don't even remember who, to be honest) came over and told us what was going on, and it was that moment that my heart cracked in half and leaked all over the front of my Shaker dress.

I attacked Sabbath Day with more energy then ever before (Because Jimmy was missing, I got to be in the first three movements of Sabbath Day again. As much as I wanted to dance those sections again I did NOT want it to be under such awful circumstances). I felt great while I was dancing, my body finally (Finally) [FINALLY!] felt like my own normal dancing body for the first time in weeks, I felt energetic, exuberant, and happy; the audience loved E and me in our little Shaker-duet... and the moment I got back into the dressing room, I looked at Victor and said "I'm so sad about Jimmy." He agreed, adding that "It just feels kind of surreal right now."

It was on everyone's mind, and we couldn't stop talking about what was happening. In the dressing room, in the hallway by the bathroom, and in the wings backstage dancers were going over the evidence: talking about what had happened the last time we saw Jimmy and speculating what may have happened after we all left the theater last night.

Of course, Jimmy danced in solo and principal roles. While it wasn't too hard to cover his absence in Act One, Act Two was a different story. My friend Blue Eyes and I sat down during the end of Act One and made a list of scenes he would need to be covered for in Douglass and Freedom; at the beginning of Intermission our director came in and talked with us about Who would cover Where by doing What. Lifts were re-worked, spacing was adjusted, dancers set off to learn some of his parts in under five minutes. Tensions ran high, people felt upset. I, the obligatory funny-girl of the company and already dressed in my Mrs. Lloyd costume, was at a loss for what to do, so on a whim I glided over to E in my hoop dress, lifted up my enormous skirt, and dropped it over her head.

This made E laugh hysterically (after she crawled out from under the big purple tent that is my hoop skirt), along with Georgia and Blue Eyes. It was only about a minute later, though, that we were alarmed by the sound of another dancer sobbing (this wasn't someone who we see cry very often ever, which made it even more startling). R and I ran over to hug her and offer comfort...but what can one really say or do at a time like this? We thought that she was stressed at trying to learn his roles in a twenty- minute time frame, but she later said "It just makes me sad, because he was so beautiful." I agreed, and had to pull my bonnet strings even tighter around my throat to keep from bursting into tears myself.

But then it was time: Places For The Top Of Act Two. We flowed through the first several scenes of Douglass. About halfway through I went up to Georgia in the wings, gave her a hug, and said "I just needed to hug someone. Know that I love you."

I then changed back into my Mrs.-Lloyd costume and danced the "Slave Machine" quartet, we all kicked ass, and it was awesome. I snuck into the wings to watch our director do Invisible No More and cried because it was sodamnfreakingbeautiful. Freedom felt good, my newly-modified lift with R (formerly my lift with R and Jimmy) went well, and I smiled and danced my little heart out. The audience applauded like mad and showered us with applause and accolades and love.

I stayed after, chatting with audience members and other dancers' friends/children/spouses and with Mr. Sozeberg (who came to see our show, Thanks Keyser! Did the Rockets win?). I helped clean up the dressing room, drove home blasting Stravinsky at a loud enough volume to drown out my thoughts, stopped at the grocery store by my house and chattered excitedly with the owner who essentially knows me by face (because I am there ALMOST EVERY DAY). I arrived home, I threw pizzas in the oven, and I poured myself a glass of wine the size of Lake Okeechobee. I drank, I read multiple volumes of "Growing Up Cullen," I watched downloaded episodes of Family Guy...anything, other than think about the dark and terrifying path that a dear friend of mine has gone down; possibly never to return.

Elspe called earlier, and we had a good long talk. She has known Jimmy much longer than the rest of us, and was able to offer a little more insight and background to what happened. We're both so sad for him, and we're both praying for his recovery.

I'll update you more later on. In the meantime, I'll give you something not-depressing to tide you over: Here's a picture of R and me as the evil-nasty slave-owning Lloyd contingency:

Aren't we cute (and by "cute," I of course mean "evil")?

Please pray for Jimmy, folks.

Black History Month: Here we go!

Tonight opens The Company's annual Black History Month show. This is my second season dancing in the Black History Month Program, and it's been extremely fun and enlightening and an all-around Really Neat Experience.

Until, that is, I got injured; injured in a way that cost me my favorite ballets. While it's mind-blowingly depressing to be unable dance ballets that I loved dancing and worked my buns off in rehearsals for...I'm still making the best of it. Let's take a look at the last few days of our final rehearsals and Butterfly's Backstage Antics.

1. It's really neat to see how far one of our pieces has come since last year's show. Last year, 'The Slave Machine' was a work-in-progress; one short dance with four dancers in black pants and hooded shirts. This season....
2. ....it's a thirty-minute multi-disciplinary show within a show. Music, spoken-word text from Douglass’ writings, shadow sequences, character representations of many different people from Douglass’life, including Douglass himself (A great guy dancer who just joined our company is Fredrick Douglass as an adult, and of course we have the ever-awesome Little Freddy who has really handled this process like a pro).

3. R and I are, as I like to say, “the a**holes of the show.” We play Mr. and Mrs. Lloyd, who were Douglass’ masters. The section that we danced last year is now a representation of young Fredrick and another Slave being dominated by us. Later on in the ballet, a variation of our choreography is danced by older Frederick and Mr. And Mrs. Auld (Mrs. Auld had taught Frederick how to read until she was told that educating slaves was against the law. The section of the ballet that depicts Douglass's interactions is very poignant, to the point of being heartbreaking.)

4. My partner in crime small-girlness, E, dances the role of Sophia Auld and is AWESOME at it. She and I dance together a lot because we both have similar body types/similar movement styles/we're both cute; and in this ballet we both get to wear hoop skirts in our slave-mistress roles. IT'S FUN.

5. I've discovered that a hoop skirt can be maneuvered in a way that creates a nice little breeze, so I started fanning people with my skirt when they come into the dressing room sweaty from dancing. It's now called the "breeze machine."

6. I love watching Big Freddy and Little Freddy dance together. They connect to each other beautifully.

7. There's a really gorgeous solo called 'Invisible No More' that I had never seen until yesterday, based on a really beautiful piece of text. I watched it for the first time from the audience during an early rehearsal; and during that time there could have been a UFO over my head, a unicorn on my lap, and Bigfoot sitting next to me and I WOULD NOT HAVE NOTICED.

8. I realized that both year's I've danced in the BHM show, someone has gotten shot. Theatrically, I mean; not with real firepower and armament.

9. That said, I'm sure there are some shows out there where violence does erupt during tech week....

10. In 'Sabbath Day,' we wear bonnets.* I took to saying "I'm bringing bonnets back" and doing a faux-Justin-Timeberlake dance in our dressing room; which is an amusing sight in 18th-century Shaker garb.

Anyway, I'm off to get ready for a long day of rehearsals and opening night. It's a really neat show; I'm so bummed that I don't get to dance all the roles that I had been rehearsing yet I'm honored to have had the opportunity to learn them (the first few sections of 'Sabbath Day' were like an amusement park for me, because I'm small and I like to jump. I now tell the other dancers to "go have fun for me."). If you're in Houston, I strongly advise coming to see the show. You'll learn something. You'll be entertained. And while you won't get to see me dance 'Howling at the Moon,' you will still see me get shot.

Catch you after curtain call.

* By "we" I mean "only the women." This is not Trocks.

List-o-mania: Weird Injuries and Alternate Monikers

Weird Ways to Hurt Oneself While Dancing:

1. Crushing a Knuckle. Yesterday I was doing a forward roll out of a headstand in rehearsal for Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. No big, done it many many many times in the past without incident-- except for last night, which was the one time I neglected to move my hands in time. Yeowza.

2. Bruising. Oh, this one's a no-brainer. My current bruise count is at 10-- most are on the lower part of my left leg, but I also have two on my ribcage, one on my hipbone, and one in a place you don't get to see unless you buy me dinner first. However, the best was when I got armpit bruises (yes, armpit. Bruises!) last season. It was worth it, though-- I'd do those ballets again in a heartbeat, bruises or not.

3. Stomach-jamming. If you go into a "bluebird" lift with too much gusto and not quite the correct angle, your stomach will be lodged behind your left lung for a week.

4. Unidentified debris in eyeballs. I don't know how to properly explain this, other than that "kicking up the dust" can be applied literally when people are dancing vigorously. Something ended up in my eye somewhere in the course of our pas de deux today, and I haven't been able to get my contact lenses back in since.

Nicknames I've Been Addressed By In The Last Week:

1. Little Missy
2. Little Miss Muffet
3. Little Miss Sunshine
4. Mary Sunshine
5. Mini Cooper (my favorite!)

I love it. If I were being called, say, "Little Miss Assmunch" I'd be concerned, but who doesn't want to be "Little Miss Sunshine?" Although since there seems to be a running theme, I'm wondering if I should change my blog name to "Little Miss [Something]." Input?

Also, the dance company has a show in two weeks. I'd encourage you to come see it, but I don't want you guys to stalk me, so....go see every dance show in Houston that takes place two weeks from now, fill up your dance-tank, and inadvertently watch me dance. Then again, I only have one stalker that I know of, and she knows where I dance anyway. Also, you are all dead to me if you don't go see this.

Peace out, y'all,
~ L. M. [Something]

My Week 15-- Now categorized!

(I have an awesome rant about dance cliches, I need to put that one up here)

Awesome Dancers.

1. Have you ever seen someone dance with so much energy and conviction that they practically become a human tornado? I've witnessed this twice in one week. The phrase "throwing oneself into the dance" will never be the same for me again-- I've seen two different people not only throw themselves in, but get swallowed completely and then leap out gracefully.

2. It's a cool thing to see, but if you're seeing it up close you had better get the heck out of their way before they run you over. They do not see you, because you are not in the same room as them. They've transcended.

3. And no, I won't tell you who it was (or if I did, I'd use some nickname you would never figure out; I rarely use names on here). Know what's weird? I know they'll read this, and I know they won't think for second that I'm referring to them.

Kiddos and Teaching

4. I knocked off a little more of the Alice ballet this week. I've still got a ways to go, but I'm happy to at least have a chunk of my scenes already set (a few are getting close to being clean).

5. Last week, I got to give one of my Intermediate girls The News. "What do you mean, The News?" It's when I get to make a young girl's entire face light up from a 1,000-watt ear-to-ear grin with one sentence: "It's time for you to get your first pointe shoes."

6. Now, this school is very professional in the way it's structured. That said, the Director and I understand that being declared "Ready For Pointe" is the Best Thing Ever(!) for most of the kiddos, being able to give a student The News is fun for us: Seeing their expressions and seeing classmates hugging them shouting "OHMYGAH CONGRATULATIONS" makes The News worthy of extraneous capitalization.

7. I was working on a ballet with the kids the other night, and I nearly surprised myself at how much I sounded like another choreographer I used to work with. I've never had a similar demeanor or temperament as this artist (especially not in rehearsals), so I was a little off guard when I realized it was Miss Heylia's voice coming from Miss Butterfly. Then again: she was a big influence on me; we all show a bit of our different artistic influences/mentors at some time (some more than others, of course).

Let's see, what else:

8. Rehearsals with the dance company, of course. There's one ballet in particular that makes me ridiculously happy. Seriously. To me, it's about ten minutes of straight-up Whee!

9. You will all be glad to know I managed to not injure my dance partner this week (Even though he's always saying "You don't hurt me, no worries!" I want to give this guy a medal).

10. I'm going to see Toni Leago Valle's new show Tetris this weekend. I'm excited, especially since I've heard some GREAT things about it. And, I get to write a peer response for it! Sweet. I can't wait. Check it out, fellow Houstonites.

11. I've got a new project on the boards right now. It's in the early stages, but I'll keep you posted.

12. Not really on topic, but whatever: Earlier this week, there was one day where I did not high-five anyone.

12. I'm outta here....I'm off to go see Betty and Indigo Bloom kick dance's ass one more time.

My Week in 15 Ramblings: Black History Month

1. I read back through my last several posts and realized I sound like I should be covering in a closet slowly consuming my weight in xanax, what with all these posts about me being anxious over one thing or another. I'm going to make this my disclaimer that yes, people, I am a confident and competent human being-- otherwise I would be out of work right now-- but anxiety issues make for funnier posts, so I go with it. I exploit anything that makes me even slightly nervous in favor of making you guys giggle. You're welcome!

2. I finished another dance this week. Whoop whoop!

3. R and I finished learning our pas, and it is going to be awesome.

4. I'm really excited about the material we're learning for this year's Black History Month program. We've got some neat, neat stuff going on. I'll give you a For Instance...

5. ...we're doing a piece about Frederick Douglass. We showed a part of the work-in-progess at last year's Black History Retrospective Show-- and I know I wrote about it, and the fact that I can't find that post is driving me up a wall-- and this year we are adding on to it in a big way. We have a young boy joining us (whom I'll call "Young Freddy"), dancing the role of young F. Douglass (interestingly enough, he was also at Tremaine this past fall; in the same class as a handful of my students). He's a sweet kid. I wonder if it's weird for him to be working with all these adults in a professional-company setting? I want to make him feel comfortable around us, on one hand.... but on the other hand I'm trying so hard to not curse or tell inappropriate jokes while he's around that (for once!) I pretty much keep my mouth shut.

6. I wrote a kick-ass paper on Frederick Douglass' autobiography my freshman year (hi, Mrs. Lopata!), after our English 9 class had read some of his work. During the last eight years (Really? Eight years? Oh, my goodness) I've forgotten a lot of it, but this piece reminds me of just how gritty his story is.

7. By the way, there's a weird dichotomy to dancing in a Black History program when you're white: You learn more about African-American history, obviously; but you also feel like the world's biggest A-Hole.

8. Even so for me, because I'm white, protestant, and half-German....which means my people are the bullies of the human race. We're responsible for slavery and the Holocaust (in fact, that's why I rarely admit to being half- German. Sorry, Dad).

9. Anyway, back to Freddy. We're dancing to text with this gorgeous string music in the background. Allow me to share with you the text to the section we learned yesterday:

10. "The whisper that my master was my father, may or may not be true.... the slaveholder, in cases not a few, sustains to his slaves the double relation of master and father.I know of such cases; and it is worthy of remark that such slaves invariably suffer greater hardships, and have more to contend with, than others. They are, in the first place, a constant offence to their mistress. She is ever disposed to find fault with them; they can seldom do any thing to please her; she is never better pleased than when she sees them under the lash, especially when she suspects her husband of showing to his mulatto children favors which he withholds from his black slaves. The master is frequently compelled to sell this class of his slaves, out of deference to the feelings of his white wife; and, cruel as the deed may strike any one to be, for a man to sell his own children to human flesh-mongers, it is often the dictate of humanity for him to do so; for, unless he does this, he must not only whip them himself, but must stand by and see one white son tie up his brother, of but few shades darker complexion than himself, and ply the gory lash to his naked back."

11. Isn't that crazily effed up? I'm dancing in the role of the slave mistress, too; R slams Young Freddy to the floor right before I do this loving and tender bit with him. I'm starting to feel really blessed that I have the sort of mind that is endlessly fascinated by sick, twisted stuff. If I didn't, I'd be having nightmares from here to kingdom come.

12. Instead, I'm disturbed....but also intrigued. I want to learn more. And I'm going to, throughout this process.

13. And you can bet I'm going to keep you folks updated on it. We'll all learn, think, and evolve during this next month of rehearsals and performances. It'll sure be a nice change of pace from laughing about my anxiety.

14. Annnnnnd I'm out. Guess what today is?

15. P.S. I briefly considered sending this post to my boss and saying "Hey, check it out, I wrote about the Frederick Douglass piece"...but then I realized she would probably say "Wow, you're a total degenerate" and fire me; which would make me sad. Although I've been in her company for over a year now (and yes, she has seen this blog), so by now she's probably figured out 'Oh, hey, Butterfly is a whacko!" Hmmm. Conundrum.

About last night...

We closed last night, after twelve performances in one week.

I had the time of my life.

Our student matinée was well-attended, comprised this time of high-school students. I swapped out my pointe shoes on Thursday for pair that wasn't so dead, and I reveled in how much fun I had dancing the women's piece with shoes that weren't about to collapse (yes, the very same women's piece that I was losing sleep over not two weeks ago. Over the last few days, I've had so much fun dancing it that one had to chisel the grin off my face).

A student asked about Song of Mary during the talk-back, referring to it as the piece "with the father and three daughters." It was an interesting take, so let me tell you a bit more about this [beautiful] ballet: It is primarily accompanied by a series of poems by Lucille Clifton that deal with Mary, the mother of Jesus. The selected poetry covers a variety of points in Her life; such as the recurring "dream," being visited by a winged woman, accepting the child into her body, worrying, and reflecting on the past as an old woman. The cast is one man (representing Joseph, and sometimes and angel as well) and three women (who alternate representing Mary, her mother or the angel).
My favorite thing about the ballet is the ambiguity. It isn't clearly defined as to "who plays who" throughout, thus it becomes less plot-driven or character-driven and more concept-driven; expressing the emotion and the general feel of this woman looking back on her life. It is less of a play and more of just a deeply-felt Idea, and I love that.

*****

Cut to: Evening performance. I arrive early, mend up one of my costumes, and stretch. Our director gives us a class. We prepare to rehearse. One of the dancers is sick. As the preparations continue, it becomes apparent that she is not able to dance. Luckily, she is double-cast in two out of the three ballets she is in. The piece in which she is not doubled is swapped with Song of Mary, (which is early in Act I) so she can leave sooner rather than later. I now have two dances that are back-to-back, so I pre-set for a super-fast quick change.

Cut to: curtain. I am full of nervous energy, but I'm fine once E and I make our entrance in the opening piece. My nervous energy manifests itself into movement. Our sick dancer performs (she dances a solo with three of us girls dancing behind her) and is magnificent, the audience could never tell she was riddled with flu. The women's piece is amazingly fun, we get a screaming ovation for it. Song of Mary opens Act II and is beautiful, a dancer helps me with my quick change so fast that I barely know what's happening.

There is a Time closes us again, and I am having the time of my life. I finally get to watch V perform "A Time to be Born," and he's simply gorgeous. I love watching him, this boyish exuberance the he has about him: he's like a little boy on the playground, and it is positively joyful.
I smile watching "A Time to Reap," remembering our choreologists's words to the dancers: "This is a harvest! You're all off to go drink wine together and be merry." I can't stop smiling during "A Time to Dance." In the finale, as the lights come down on the whole company joining arms and shifting side to side, I think: I am so lucky to dance this piece. So, incredibly lucky.

We kneel in blackout as the audience begins to applaud.

First thought: What's wrong with you people? Why are you not screaming and going crazy for us?
Second thought: Oh, okay, people are standing up. You're a good audience after all.
Third thought: THE WHOLE AUDIENCE IS ON THEIR FEET. I love this audience!

After that, it is a blur. We do a talkback, I dress, JG is there and so is one of my ballet teachers. There is a reception with wine and h'or dourves. I chatter excitedly about everything to everyone. When I eventually feel the effects of the wine I say my goodbyes (knowing I have to be up with the birds in the morning), thank everybody, climb into a huge SUV and drive home. There is one brief phone conversation with RF (where I re-iterate that I've had a fabulous week) before I climb into bed and pass out, happy and exhausted.

Performance Week

I've been performing in student matinees (where the students take a feld trip to the theater to watch a performance) since I was twelve, and I've found that the older I get, the more fun and enlightening the experience becomes. After every performance we've been doing talkbacks with the students-- we introduce ourselves briefly, and the students ask questions about the performance, the dancers, and the process of dance ("How long do you rehearse? What made you decide to do a dance about xyz? What inspires you to dance?"). It's really nice to see how interested and curious they are. So far we've had all great crowds-- respectful, generous applause, etc. Our second performance today had a beyond-packed house and we got a standing ovation.

One of our frequent questions is "How long did it take to get ready for the performance?" The answer? Six weeks. We pulled together a two-hour performance in a total of six weeks, one of those being entirely spent on There is a Time. It's inspiring to me, as a rookie company director, to see a full-length show set and polished so quickly. I want to have that sort of efficiency in myself for my dance ensemble.

My buddy V remarked today that "we've been performing a lot, we're all a little tired, I think the emotions are running high." I've tried to be conscious of that, sure that my lighthearted chatter and joking might get grating to some. I don't feel particularly emotional per se, just more conscious of myself in movement and in appearance. My joints-- particularly my old injuries-- are getting a little creaky, but I'm combating that by stretching and doing strengthening exercises when I'm not dancing.
I can't believe there are only two performances left. One student matinée, one public evening performance. I realized today just how happy I am to be dancing in this company. The process wasn't easy for me, but it made the stronger...it was a push; I had to work harder with all the different styles of choreography, learn faster to compensate for my travel-related absences. I'm grateful for it.

Notes from the weekend's performances

Three down, nine to go, and we are rocking.

We did performances Friday and Saturday evening and a matinée this afternoon. Today's matinée was, overall, the best. We had a packed house, the energy was high, the dances fired off without a hitch, and we had the most amazing audience. The applause was loud, they laughed when appropriate, and when the lights came down at the end of There is a Time, they literally screamed for us. It was an exhilarating performance.

For me, I'm happy to report that my recent stress of worrying about the dances and how well I do them has dissipated, I'm finally able to just relax into the choreography and really dance it. The piece that I was worried about (with the African-influenced section) has been going well-- the first section is theatrical, and the choreography in the second section has grown into my body well enough that it's no longer a "panic point" for me (by the way, that ballet got wild applause today. Someone left a comment on the company's blog saying that it will "leave you wanting more." Yeah!!).

The vibe within the group is wonderful. We support and help each other when needed, we're relaxed backstage, nobody's snapping or snarling. When we get nervous, we loosen each other up. I have to take a second to commend everybody for their quick change help. It's like having a pit crew in NASCAR-- I run backstage for a fast change, and other dancers spring up "Do you need help? Which costume? What do you need?" I've never really asked for/been offered help in a change before-- I always figured it would be faster to fumble through it myself-- but these ladies were such an awesome help. Thanks!

I noticed that my overall stress level, now that we're in performance mode, has lessened significantly. Now that my brain is no longer screaming AHH WE OPEN IN X DAYS AND YOU AREN'T READY YOU NEED WORK ON THIS PIECE AND THAT PIECE AND ARRRGGH WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO YOU BETTER CONCENTRATE , I actually have enough brain capacity to think ahead two days (That hasn't been the case of late)! I started making some plans for my company's first rehearsals next week, and was able to start preparing for my crazy next two days.

Haha. Speaking of that, Monday and Tuesday are hilarious. Witness: 2 student matinees, followed by: teaching a baby class and rehearsing a brand- new section of Coppelia with my older students (tomorrow)/teaching/rehearsing the studio kids for three and a half hours (Tuesday). Basically, including traffic-fighting time in between, that's 8am-9pm both days. Whee. Bring on the coffee.

Now, I'm off to choreograph for Coppelia. Happy weekend to all, and much love to the company for a fabulous weekend of public performances.

Valentine

I notice that I don't often go into a whole lot of detail in my blogs when writing about the companies I'm dancing with/pieces I'm dancing in. I'm sure that's a little annoying-- being that this is a dance blog-- but for right now I'm still nervous about how I write/who reads this/what they think. Goodness knows I'm not always the most eloquent in my writing.

I throughly enjoyed my Valentine's Day. Took a really nice ballet class-- another choreographer/company director took class, and it was nice to see her. I felt bad because she invited me to audition for her newest project, but in my haze of juggling both companies/my company/the studio I never responded. In honor of Valentine's Day, I passed out Hersheys kisses with flyers to Company A's upcming performances. "Happy Valentines Day! Eat chocolate and come see out show!" Chocolate marketing-- it works better than blackmail any day. Who knew?

Rehearsal felt strong. We ran our duet for "Dream a Little Dream," which feels better every day. My partner is fabulous-- she's a great dancer, and she and I are the same size and build (and we look similar-- I could be her evil twin), which makes partnering easier.

I had a nice break in the early afternoon, had more rehearsal (only for an hour), then ran over to Houston Ballet Academy to cover the last half-hour of my friend's Creative Movement classes. I subbed for her last fall, so most of the children vaguely remembered me ...they were wonderful, all 20 of them, and it was really lovely and fun (and blissfully short).

I literally did the 5-minute quick change from dancer bum to socialite chic in the HB faculty locker room. Dress, shoes, jewelry, perfume, took my hair down, and off I went. For a speedy change (and after a day of sweating/lifting/being lifted/rolling on floors), I didn't do too badly:

I should have gone to bed an hour ago, but I've been up playing around with my new toy (more). But tomorrow is 9am ballet class and 5 hours of rehearsal, including rehearsal for the piece in which I need the most work. So, to bed with me. Happy Valentine's day, y'all.....I hope yours was as awesome as mine.

Coffee.

My trusty laptop and I are sitting here at our favorite Starbucks by the dance studio (hey, don't give me that look. Starbucks' multi-billion-dollar corporate whoredom has gotten me through some tough spots, mostly hangovers and Tech Week). What better way to keep up with fifteen-odd very-energetic children for three and a half hours than by loading up on caffeine and sugar? You're right, there is none. Well, maybe that isn't the case for most people, but for me it is.

My time with the children seems to go pretty quickly these days, maybe it's because I'm sufficiently prepared (caffeinated) to keep up with their super-high energy levels, or maybe it's because we're rehearsing material now. Six months ago I would be worn out halfway through, but now I'm able to just relax into my time with them and enjoy the work. The ballet children are doing a story ballet based off of a popular children's book, so I'll be rehearsing two of those pieces tonight. They are sweet kids and I'm glad to have built up my "teaching stamina" with them.

I felt great this morning. Took barre from one of my favorite ballet teachers, then went over to rehearsal. One of the pieces was difficult for me, but now my body has gotten use to the movement and I finally feel that I can do it well and "have fun" dancing it. Our duet feels strong, too. We rehearsed a few other pieces (to Jimi Hendrix's "The Star-Spangled Banner;" the Fredrick Douglass piece), and I managed-- for the first time since I got sick two weeks ago-- to not feel like a complete baboon during the rehearsal process. I even left the studio with my dignity intact! That hasn't occurred much in the last two weeks, but it's a welcome change.
We got to try on our costumes for There is a Time (choreographed by THE Jose Limon). I was afraid that I'd have trouble working in the long dress (I'm 5'0, so everything is long on me), but was presently surprised to find that I could move through all the choreography and partnering without stumbling over my own hem.

Well, I've stalled enough, so I'm off to the studio.